Many women are carrying an inordinate mental load for society. Whether women are single or in a relationship, have children or not, are working in or out of the home or both, women are still carrying a disproportionate mental load for society. This is not to say that some men are not carrying a similarly heavy mental load, but they are much fewer in number.
There is also the concept of the invisible mental load that women carry for society; the strategic thinking and logistical planning we do in the home and professional environment that are taken for granted.
What mental load looks like in the home…
- Meal planning
- Shopping and stocking the home
- Arranging social events
- Keeping the home clean and organised
- Managing the family diary, amongst many others.
And at work…?
In the professional environment, we see women, even very senior women, taking on duties not included in their job description, which they are considered to be better skilled at, and it is left to them.
Capability versus capacity
As society has partially evolved, some women may now get more help with the doing but often get less help with the thinking. Much of society takes it for granted that because women can be more adept at finer logistical details and multi-tasking, they can handle more.
We also make up the most part of the so-called ‘sandwich generation’ supporting both the older and younger generations at the same time.
But capability is not the same thing as capacity. And as a result, many capable women live so close to the top end of their capacity, that it just takes one unexpected challenge to bring them to breaking point.
Add to this, the impact of hormonal variations from their menstrual cycle and PMS, contraception side effects, trying to conceive, pregnancy, postpartum, and peri/menopause, these can greatly heighten an already heavy mental load.
Why is this important?
The physical and mental health impact on the mental load can be immense. The biggest health risk is chronic stress which can lead to a whole host of poorer heath outcomes including anxiety, depression, burnout, high blood pressure, obesity (which can lead to increased cardiovascular risk and diabetes), certain cancers and even suicide. Yes, it’s that serious!
Women also have less chance of achieving their full potential because of the weight of a heavy mental load leaving little time for self-discovery, self-care and self-actualisation.
What drives this mental load?
We have to call it out, the historic patriarchal society which prevailed and continues to be prevalent in many parts of the world has driven the mental load. In modern western societies it is difficult to break the pattern when it’s been replaced by a view that women can have it all. They’re not wrong, we can have it all, just maybe not all at the same time.
It has become difficult to have honest conversations about women’s roles in modern society and there are other forces at play; what I call the ‘weights’.
- The weight of history, a personal story or a more general story of women’s rights, family and cultural expectations
- The weight of our perceived potential
- The weight of comparisons with false equivalents
- The weight of our biology: PMS, pregnancy, infertility, miscarriage or anxiety driven by the female biological clock, and then there’s peri- and post-menopause
- The weight of internalised trauma from external factors to which we’re more vulnerable: abuse, gender-based discrimination, unexpected singlehood, over-sexualisation of younger women and de-sexualisation of older women.
These are deeply personal and highly emotive issues for many women which can make it difficult to broach. But we cannot continue to ignore – for our own sake.
Want to know how to manage your mental load? Read this article…Managing your mental load – your health will thank you.
